Having a sports event result spoiled is a little like the pain Fernando Vargas is feeling. (Source: AP)

The Olympics showed me there are four different types of viewers:

• Those who have no care at all for the result;
• Those who only want to know the end result and have no intention of watching the event;
• Those who intend to watch the event on tape delay but can’t stomach the drama of live results and therefore seek out the results;
• And finally those who avoid the live result because they don’t want to spoil the outcome when they watch the recording.

For those who fit into the fourth type of viewer like me, avoiding the live result of the game becomes a bigger issue than the size of Cindy Klassen’s forehead. Although Canada’s men’s hockey team’s play in the end was unwatchable I didn’t know that at the time and therefore taped each game.  To me the greatest aspect about sports is the natural drama that comes from not knowing how the game will unfold and turn out in the end.  So in situations where I can’t watch the game live I prefer to avoid hearing all spoiler results during the day. But lately that’s easier said than done.

It’s become nearly impossible to avoid hearing the result of a live sporting event because there’s a plethora of ways for the result to be spoiled. The internet, email, instant messaging, text messaging, cell phones, mobile news reporting on cell phones, radio, TV, and general interaction in public have all become sources that need to be avoided for the result of a game not to be spoiled.  In essence, every single interaction you have on the day of the game is a possible way of spoiling the result.

Unlike going to the movies where you only have to focus on blocking out the conversations of people as they leave the theatre a spoiled game result can occur anywhere. Going to a bank opens up the possibility of having a customer in line strike up a conversation about the game. Turning on the radio in the car is a big no-no. Warning friends not to email you during the day is a mandatory measure, as is putting the entire office on notice that you’re taping the game. But regardless of the contingencies you take the game is usually ruined by the most unlikely of sources that you can’t anticipate.

Of course all of these measures wouldn’t be necessary if rather than automatically assuming that you want to know the score people would first ask if you want to know the result. If anything you gotta think with the increasing popularity of TIVOs/Digital Video Recorders (DVRs) that even more people are recording live sporting events.

The popularity of DVRs has risen so much that Nielsen, the organization that monitors TV viewing and produces ratings figures has now introduced a new rating systems. Nielsen will now produce one report that measures live viewers for a program and a second report that measures viewership on recorded programs from DVRs.  Maybe the recorded viewership totals will be one way that Donald Trump can finally legitimatize his ludicrous ramblings about how “The Apprentice” is the top-rated show on TV. As a complete aside has there ever been something so blatantly contrived for media attention and yet such pure comedic gold than the comments Trump delivered about Martha Stewart and her failed version of the Apprentice? While there not quite “Pamela Anderson Roast” jokes they’re still pretty good:

"Between your daughter, with her one-word statements, your letter writing and, most importantly, your totally unconvincing demeanor, it never had a chance - much as your daytime show is not exactly setting records."

"You made this firing up just as you made up your sell order of ImClone. The only difference is - that was more obvious." 

You would think that someone like me who is constantly in battle to avoid hearing the live results of events would be well in tune with fellow viewers. You would think that as a fellow sufferer I‘d know better than to ruin the result for someone else. In theory, I should have a heightened sensitivity to ruining an event for someone…in theory.  But then Monday morning rolls around and of course the very first question I have to ask one of my friends is “Did you see the size of Fernando Vargas’ eye from the Mosley fight?”

 And just like that, I ruined the very result that I preach to others about.