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Borrr-ing
By Patryk Fournier
October 18th, 2004


Believing that hockey players make for compelling TV is like suspending belief that none of the kids in Cheaper By the Dozen look alike. (Source: 20th Century Fox)

"On the rare occasions that hockey is pressed into the spotlight and the American media calls on a spokesman to give their take on a particular issue the same shortlist of guys continually comes up - Jeremy Roenick, Brett Hull, Chris Chelios, and Don Cherry. It's not hard to figure out why these guys get the airtime over their contemporaries - they tell it straight like it is and provide genuine and honest opinions on any topic regardless of how unpopular it may be." 

After watching a few weeks worth of CBC's best attempt to appease hockey starved fans with some sort of on-ice action in the form of the reality series Making the Cut, it has become glaringly obvious why hockey will never fully catch on as a widely embraced mainstream sport south of the border; the typical hockey persona is a boring, all-too polite collection of clichés that stray away from even remotely making a controversial statement, or in other words Presidential hopeful John Kerry.

In hindsight building a reality TV show around a hockey player's personality isn't such a great concept. (Source: CBC)

Making the Cut follows the trials and tribulations of hopeful NHL'ers trying to impress a collection of coaches and scouts in the attempt to earn an invite to an NHL training camp. The timing of the show while filling a void makes the viewer suspend belief like they're watching the movie Cheaper by the Dozen. Did anyone else find it hard to believe that they had 12 kids and none of them even remotely looked alike? Maybe the storyline would have been more interesting if the movie centered on Steve Martin figuring out who the 12 guys were that impregnated his wife. Making the Cut is asking viewers to take the same exemption of better judgment and ignore the fact that these players are vying for non-existent training camp spots to a team that may end up belonging to a non-existent league once this lockout is finally sorted out. After being bombarded with enough reality TV shows & concepts over the last few years we have all learned that a reality TV show is only as good as its casting of characteristics. Sadly hockey players don't exactly make for compelling characters.

Making the Cut is not the exception to the rule. In fact it sheds a reflective and accurate depiction of the typical NHL'er. While players like Joe Sakic and the ever "ecstatic" Markus Naslund thrill and bring fans up out of their seats with their skills on the ice they also have the innate ability to bore the heck out of us in their post-game interviews and press conferences.

There's a reason why you only see the same handful of hockey personalities on mainstream American media programs like Jim Rome, The Best Damn Sports Show and Pardon the Interruption. On the rare occasions that hockey is pressed into the spotlight and the American media calls on a spokesman to give their take on a particular issue the same shortlist of guys continually comes up - Jeremy Roenick, Brett Hull, Chris Chelios, and Don Cherry. It's not hard to figure out why these guys get the airtime over their contemporaries - they tell it straight like it is and provide genuine and honest opinions on any topic regardless of how unpopular it may be.

Chad Johnson's confidence may make some people sick but it helps draw interest. (Source: Proctor & Gamble)

A glance at popular American sports gives you an insight into who and what fans respond to. The NFL is full of trash talkers who spoke openly about how they're going to beat their opponent. Take Chad Johnson's latest action as a perfect example. In the lead-up to Johnsons's Bengals playing the Browns in a Week 6 game, the confident WR sent bottles of Pepto Bismal to each member of the Browns secondary in anticipation of how sick they'll be feeling after the game when he runs roughshod on them. Now when is the last time you saw a hockey player pull anything remotely close to that? Could you imagine if Martin Brodeur sent out mock arrest warrants to the entire opposition team in anticipation of him robbing them all night long? Now I realize that Johnson's gag was a little extreme and disrespectful but it gets people talking and I guarantee you more people will tune into the game just to see if he can back up his statements. Take the "Miked Up" in-game feature of NFL games as another indicator that personality sells games. It simply provides a forum for the league to showcase players like Ray Lewis, Warren Sapp, Derrick Brooks, etc.

Individualism sells in America, whether it's the music, film, or sports industry. Sales and interest are directly related to how marketable an individual performer is. The saying "the squeaky wheel gets the grease" applies to the world of sports. In this case the squeaky wheel is the athlete who can share with the world how great they are and the grease is the attention and money they can draw. Just watch the US Olympic team and you'll see a bravado, which some may call cockiness but undoubtedly there is a high level of confidence put on display. Canadians on the whole have a much more reserved personality and prefer to let their actions speak for themselves. I'm not saying Canadian players should become more about looking out only for themselves because it sends a very selfish message about team sports, but it would be refreshing to hear more players speak their minds freely and in turn help sell the game.

Americans also love their heroic stories where an athlete was tasked with and overcame some great hurdle to succeed - in sports this comes in the form of battling back from an injury or overcoming an illness. This method of embracing battle-tested athletes sheds light on why Lance Armstrong and Bo Jackson are loved and explains why Mario Lemieux and Steve Yzerman, two fairly reserved guys especially when you stack them beside Hull or Roenick are so openly embraced - putting up gaudy point totals and winning multiple Stanley Cups doesn't hurt either. These types of athletes rarely come along so it's not to be expected that every reserved soft spoken athlete will receive attention. Sometimes it takes a great story like battling cancer or overcoming a career-ending injury for them to be cast in the limelight.

It'd be too much to expect for all hockey players to make a full 180 degree turn and drop statements like "We're going to have to give it 110%" or unintelligent obvious statements like "We're going to need to skate and get more shots on net." Until this type of vernacular gets eliminated from interviews and the players learn how to become a little more interesting we'll simply call it reason no. 347: Why the NHL will never be fully accepted on par with football, baseball and basketball in the U.S.

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