If Orr pulled something like this in today's NHL he would be $1000 poorer and a featured star on the NHL's diving tape.

Now the NHL has created a problem for themselves; they have dozens of embellished episodes nightly. Officials are having a difficult time discerning what is and isn't a true penalty. The NHL has responded with a campaign to identify and punish repeat offenders in attempt to prevent these acting pugilists from committing their crime again. Offenders of obvious diving calls are given fines of $1,000 and more importantly are added to a secretive and yet to be released videotape of repeat diving offenders. The videotape will then be sent out throughout the league to teams and officials. I have a lot of questions about this diving offender videotape and more importantly how do I get a copy of one? Is the videotape put to music and catchy graphics? Can we expect to hear various sound effects such as: bowling pins getting knocked down, The Three Stooges sound clips and of course a collection of splashing and diving sounds? I think in the next few weeks we should all be on the lookout for TV commercials from the NHL offering, "The NHL's Notorious Bad Boys of Acting" in an exclusive package that's coupled with a "Greatest Playoff Performances" and "The NHL's Top Hitters" for the low, low price of $39.95.

 

	He dove...a little bit.

I believe the origin of diving in the NHL has been influenced by the influx of Europeans entering the league over the past 25 years or so. Before you start comparing me to Don Cherry give me a chance to explain. Soccer is without a doubt the most popular and played sport in Europe and much of the world for that matter. Anyone who watches soccer knows that diving and embellishment is at the root and forefront of every soccer game. Diving has truly become an art form in the game of soccer. Players put on acting displays that would leave members of the Academy Awards gushing and have them drawing comparisons to De Niro and Hanks. I believe it is that influence of soccer that so many European born players were raised with that has contributed to the wide-scale emergence of diving in the NHL. Let me be clear; European born players are not the only culprits of diving in the league. North American born players have gravitated towards this movement and are equal in terms of their lack of respect and observation of the rules.

One opportunity to really embellish an infraction hasn't been taken advantage of yet by the players. That opportunity exists in the area of high sticking. The rules state that if an opponent's stick hits you above the shoulders it's an automatic 2-minute penalty. If there is clear intention of high sticking, i.e. it is a deliberate high stick, then it's a 5-minute major penalty and game misconduct. Here is where the opportunity lies. If an opponent's stick hits you unintentionally in the face and draws blood then it is a 4-minute penalty. If former Oakland Raiders FB Jon Ritchie played hockey, his team would have non-stop 4-miunte power plays. I mean Ritchie can bleed on cue. So if drawing blood draws an extra 2 minutes of power play time, then sooner or later wouldn't you expect to see some players who follow wrestling take advantage of the rule? So don't be surprised when the time comes and players carry little blood packets in their mouth or tape little razors to their gloves and blade themselves any chance they get.

	That's one way to get noticed.

The NHL is doing their best to pinpoint diving infractions but determining what is and isn't a dive on a consistent basis is like finding someone whiter than Mark Madsen; it's impossible. Mark Madsen is a forward from the Los Angeles Lakers or you may know him as the guy who sits on the bench or better yet as the uncoordinated white guy trying to dance during the championship parades. Seriously can Mark Madsen be any whiter? Not only for his dancing skills but also for his complexion. I mean, dude you live in Los Angeles, go outside and get some sun.