| Trading Spaces
By Patryk Fournier March 10, 2003 |
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| He's only interested in your younger players. (Source: Jive Records) |
| "This is the same person who refers to his favourite team as "we" when describing their play. "We can definitely beat that team tomorrow. We've made some good trades lately and changed the lineup. If we continue like this we're gonna win it all this year." The only person who should be using the word "we" when describing a team is the actual players or coaches. Let me repeat: you are not part of the team and you have absolutely no influence over the outcome of games." |
As the trade deadline looms in the NHL I begin to think about the deadlines that I face in my hockey pools. I'm in two keeper-based hockey pools and therefore trading is the foremost way to improve your team from year to year. Trading in pools is one of the most frustrating activities because neither side wants to come away losing a deal. Unlike real sports where salaries, pending free agency and player attitudes are the leading driver of trades, the leading driver of trades in pools is simply the notion of which player will end up getting your team more points.
In the process of trading I have run across the entire plethora or gamut of hockey pool participants and their trading characteristics.
Here are the most likely trading participants you will come along:
The Moron: There is no other category to define this guy underneath. Plain and simple, he is a moron to deal with. His trade offers are ludicrous. He doesn't have a good grasp for the value of players. He wouldn't know a good trade offer if it hit him in the face (which you'll want to do after talking to him). This one guy will cause the most amount of frustration for you. Steer clear of him; it's not worth the aggravation. The only caveat with this participant is the fact that his entry fee contributes to the overall prize money.
Trading compatibility: 1
The Vacant Owner: The only time you'll see or talk to this guy is during the yearly draft, after which point you'll never talk to him. This pool participant is usually brought to the pool as a friend of a friend. He isn't in your social loop and he may or may not live in another city. Phone calls and e-mails are of no use, as the responsiveness of this participant equals that of a sloth. Tip: Collect your money from them at the draft otherwise count yourself short when the prize money is being handed out.
Trading compatibility: 2
The Skeptic: This guy is wary of any trade offer you propose. Back in his first year he accepted a horrible trade and has never been the same since. He is a jilted pool participant and he does not want to feel that hurt again. He will question every offer and examine every angle of the deal to make sure he is not getting the wool pulled over his eyes.
Trading compatibility: 3
The Optimist: Refuses to give up on his team and always believes he's in the running to win the pool. Of course he never wins and by the time he realizes this it's too late. A stand-pat GM if you've ever seen one. No matter how bad his players are playing he believes they have time to turn it around.
Trading compatibility: 4
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| Be wary of the high roller. |
The High Roller: This pool participant is always looking to make a big splash with any deal. You can offer this guy the most simple trade proposal for a backup goalie and by the end of the conversation he will have brought the trade talk to the point where you are including your top forward, defenseman, and 1st round pick for next year for his top players. Mind you, all you came looking for was a simple backup goalie. Be wary when talking to this pool participant - if you're not sharp he'll sweet talk his way into your team's pants.
Trading compatibility: 5
The Obsessive GM: This participant actually believes he's running a real organization. He believes that he can control the play of his team and get more out of players simply because they're on his team. This is the same person who refers to his favourite team as "we" when describing their play. "We can definitely beat that team tomorrow. We've made some good trades lately and changed the lineup. If we continue like this we're gonna win it all this year." The only person who should be using the word "we" when describing a team is the actual players or coaches. Let me repeat: you are not part of the team and you have absolutely no influence over the outcome of games. This is the type of pool participant that can be talked into a deal based on the fact that the player he's acquiring is a great team leader or will bring his team improved chemistry.
Trading compatibility: 6
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| A player that only a true Leafs fan would trade for. |
The Favouritist: Every pool has at least one person who drafts/trades for his favourite players or players who belong to his favourite team. I am personally guilty of this but I have my limits. I can see passed the blinders. Seeking out everyone's favourite team is great reconnaissance work that can contribute to a favourable deal for you. Leafs and Yankee fans are great targets for lopsided trades. The delusion that these fans possess is unparalleled. Only a true fan of teams would eagerly seek out a deal that would bring them Mikael Renberg or Rondell White.
Trading compatibility: 7
The Past-Performer: This guy drafts and trades for players who were great performers a few years ago. Part optimist, this participant believes that guys like Selanne and Leclair will rekindle their love affair with the back of the net. His team usually mirrors the top cards of the 1990-91 Pro Set series of hockey cards. This strategy doesn't work during the regular season but oddly enough does work for a playoff pool as John Varga has proven in my annual pools.
Trading compatibility: 8
The R. Kelly: Question: What's R. Kelly's favourite league? Answer: the AHL. It's full of minors. This participant covets young players and prospects. He builds his team on youth and believes strongly in potential. Think of this participant as a team with a limited budget. They're always looking at getting younger and will trade proven players to do so. A great trading partner at the deadline.
Trading compatibility: 9
The Expansion Team:Most leagues add expansion teams every year or so, the result of which is fresh meat. Existing teams wait on expansion teams like vultures; they see them as an unsuspecting target. The good thing about trading with an expansion team is they have needs at every position. They need help at forward, defense, and goalie. Expansion teams can earn respect if they stand up to the onslaught of early trade proposals and come out better in the end.
Trading compatibility: 10
Keeping up to date on the latest injuries is another key contributor to winning your pool. The more you monitor injuries the more expertise you will build. Before you know it, you'll be a pre-med student who can study injury reports and diagnose a timetable for return. Of course now that I divulged all this information someone will make a trade in one of my pools and end up beating me.