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NBA Finals
By Patryk Fournier
June 9th, 2005


From a purist's standpoint the Spurs-Pistons match-up will be as entertaining as Chappelle's Show. (Source: Comedy Central)

"The best player in this series is Spurs' PF Tim Duncan. Nicknamed "The Big Fundamental", Duncan doesn't do anything flashy. He simply executes the basics of the game at the highest of levels. On/off the court Duncan carries a relaxed and even keel demeanor, which makes him the perfect candidate for a "when keeping it real goes wrong" type moment." 

With the recent release of Chappelle's Show Season 2 on DVD and the subsequent exodus by the host during filming of Season 3 and the soon to be exodus of the NBA for a while if they don't sort out their own CBA issues, it's only fitting to use a Chappelle's Show theme to breakdown the NBA finals between the San Antonio Spurs and defending champions the Detroit Pistons. Obviously a Phoenix-Miami final would have been a lot more entertaining with the high-tempo dominant play of Stoudemire, Nash and the rest of Suns against Shaq and the NBA's newly crowned most exciting player Dwyane Wade. Instead we're left with two teams that play the game very fundamentally sound on both sides of the ball. The match-up is also hardly a surprise; many, including yours truly picked a Spurs-Pistons final at the start of the season. Without any true star crossover appeal on either side the finals will be a purist's dream and a marketer's nightmare.

When Keeping It Real Goes Wrong - The best player in this series is Spurs' PF Tim Duncan. Nicknamed "The Big Fundamental", Duncan doesn't do anything flashy. He simply executes the basics of the game at the highest of levels. On/off the court Duncan carries a relaxed and even keel demeanor, which makes him the perfect candidate for a "when keeping it real goes wrong" type moment. Imagine how great it would be to see Duncan go completely thug or dysfunctional during an interview or after a foul and lose that whole good guy persona in an instant. You gotta think he's got a Rasheed Wallace moment bottled up inside him.

Wayne Brady Surprise Performer - Nothing can top the shock appeal of "Is Wayne Brady gonna have to choke a bitch?" but a contribution from Pistons' 2nd-year man Darko Milcic would definitely classify as a shock. Darko is averaging 0.5 PPG in 2.5 minutes of game time thus far in the playoffs. For a guy who was the 2nd overall pick in the 2003 draft, a draft that may go down as one of the most talented in NBA history, his lack of contribution is startling, especially when you consider the Pistons elected to take Darko ahead of Carmelo Anthony, Chris Bosh and Dwyane Wade. Darko over Wade? It seems ridiculous now after watching Wade's superstar emergence in these playoffs, which was only derailed by a strained ribcage muscle injury that kept him out of Game 6 of the Eastern Conference Finals and limited his play in Game 7. If Wade is 100% the Heat are in the finals.

Shirts vs. Blouses - Sans the purple crushed velvet suit this series has its own Prince in the form of the Pistons' Tayshaun Prince, and like the skit it looks like he could use some pancakes. Once you get over his pterodactyl like wingspan its hard not to get distracted by his slight frame. Let's just say dude looks skinnier than Lindsay Lohan. In all seriousness Prince will be an X factor in this series because of his versatility and ability to defend. It'll be interesting to see if the Pistons use Prince to defend against the likes of 3-ball shooters like Horry and Barry or match him up against a slasher like Manu Ginobli. Speaking of Manu….

Manu Ginobili graces the cover of the latest issue of ESPN The Magazine and the question posed on the cover reads: "What's not to love about Manu and the Spurs?" Are you serious? Do you have a minute?

No question Manu is talented but he's also easy to hate on.  (Source: AP)

I can't stand Manu and I don't think I'm alone on this. Yes I respect his talent, his commitment to teamwork and his effort but I can't stand watching his constant flopping and acting. Obviously growing up in Argentina Manu picked up some acting tips from Maradona and the others. It's no wonder why so many teams intentionally foul Ginobili hard when they get a chance. The Nuggets took repeated hard fouls on Ginobili during the 1st round series after he faked getting hit by screens and elbows numerous times. Plus it's hard to like a guy who looks like Balki Bartokmous. All that being said dude still has major game and he's still great to watch. He's just one of those guys you love to hate.

3 Rasheeds - A look at Rasheed Wallace through the ages:

Age 20 - Left UNC early after posting the ACC all-time FG% in his sophomore year and was drafted 4th overall by the then Washington Bullets. Made the all-rookie team and was then traded in the off-season because the Bullets had depth at PF with Webber and Howard and plus 'Sheed showed early signs of a temper.

Age 25 - The official ushering in of the "Jail Blazers" Era. 'Sheed rewrote the record books with his legendary ability to rack up technical fouls. In a stretch of three seasons from 99-02 'Sheed picked up 105 technical fouls including 16 ejections.

Age 30 - The temper is subdued and the brashness of the 25 year-old 'Sheed is largely muted and after being part of underachieving clubs Rasheed has final won a championship title.

What?!…Yeah!…Okay! - NBA defensive player of the year Ben Wallace is by far and away the most one dimensional impact player in this series. Like Lil' John he only knows how to do one thing well and for him its defense. Whenever Wallace gets the ball unexpectedly on an offense set he looks more uncomfortable than a Comedy Central executive when they were initially pitched the ideas for a black-white supremacist or racial draft skit.

Tony Parker has got the best cheering section.  (Source: Getty Images)

"I'm Tony Parker Bitch!" - To the player who has it all I'd love to see him walk out onto the court one of these days and yell out the Rick James line in that French accent. Think about everything Parker has going for him at the young age of 23: he's already won one championship, his exceptional play held off the Spurs' acquisition of Jason Kidd, and finally and most impressive, he's dating Eva Longoria from Desperate Housewives fame. Anytime you can have a girl like that wearing your jersey in a small media market like San Antonio where there's little for her to gain other than to show her support as opposed to a token celebrity fan at a Lakers game, you've got it made.

Okay onto the prediction:

San Antonio will win this series in 6 games because they are without a doubt the best team in the NBA. They proved in the Phoenix series that they have the ability to shift from their staunch defensive style and play a run-n-gun offensive play at a very successful level. They have three legitimate scorers in Ginobili, Duncan, and Parker which makes them hard to key in on defensively and the flip side they play good defense and in particular their transition defense is awesome. For the Pistons Rip Hamilton is the key. He's the best shooter in the league and he'll have to fight for his points if Bruce Bowen is matched up against him, otherwise if its Ginobili he'll be able to score but he'll also tire himself out guarding the Argentinean on the other side of the ball. For Detroit to have any chance last year's Finals MVP Chauncey Billups and the aforementioned Rasheed Wallace will need to be difference makers. I'd really like 'Sheed to have a big series, especially if he can hit his shots behind the arch because Duncan doesn't have the ability to come out and guard him that far away from the basket. In the end though the Spurs' best players are better than the Pistons' best players and coupled with the Spurs' depth the River city will have their 3rd championship in less than 10 years.

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