| Picture Me Rollin'
By Patryk Fournier January 6th, 2005 |
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If the NFL's 2004 season was a breast augmentation procedure there would be a malpractice lawsuit served for lopsidedness. The AFC boasts four contenders that are all deserving of a Super Bowl bid, yet only one will emerge to face off against the NFC's default bid in the big game. Due to the NFC's feeble performance this year, two .500 clubs have qualified for the playoffs and both clubs may actually stand a chance to proceed deep because the contenders atop the conference aren't that much better. The start of January resurrects a massive interest in gambling and therefore it's only fitting that a rapper who continues to resurrect dance floors from the grave serves as the theme for a playoff preview. Here's how each team enters the playoffs and stands to fare in relation to a 2Pac song. AFC:
Pittsburgh Steelers - Picture Me Rollin' After experiencing their own Clinton Correctional Facility with a 6-10 record last season the Steelers have turned it all around on the fruits of that horrible season with 1st round QB Ben Roethlisberger leading the way. The Steelers have already beaten the Patriots and Eagles so their playoff success essentially rests in how well they can execute Bill Cowher's offense and Dick Lebeau's defensive plan. The offense is built heavily on the running power of Bettis and Staley coupled with the conservative and smart play of Big Ben. Lebeau has brought Blitz-burgh football back to the Steel City, making Pittsburgh's D one of the best in the league. The Steelers will continue to roll if they just do their thang.
New England Patriots - Hit 'Em Up The defending Super Bowl champs enter the playoffs with two opponents on their mind: the aforementioned Steelers and their Notorious B.I.G. rival in the form of the Indy Colts. Like the ultimate vengeance song 2Pac wrote about Biggie and Puffy, the Pats can lay claim to owning Peyton and the Colts. In last year's AFC conference game they picked Manning off four times which ultimately led the Colts' charge to petition a change of the NFL's enforcement of CB hands on coverage. The Pats' secondary has been marred by injuries (including All-Pro Ty Law) all season leaving them thinner than Paris Hilton. All the key players are still there on offense including the addition of Corey Dillon. The Pats will continue to have Manning's number leading to another showdown with the Steelers.
Indianapolis Colts - All About U It's all about you Peyton Manning's record setting chase of Marino's TD record was the main storyline of the Colts' season. Regardless of how much Tony Dungy wants to downplay the focus on one player it is simply all about Peyton in Indianapolis. Unfortunately for the Colts, Manning cannot make an impact on defense and it is once again their glaring weakness, which will prevent Manning and the Colts from reaching the Super Bowl stage.
San Diego Chargers - California Love
yeah, That's right
For the past few years the only thing to love about the Chargers was LaDainian Tomlinson and their powder blue throwbacks. The Chargers had wrongly given up on Drew Brees' career in the same fashion as everyone who gave up on Dr. Dre's career post-Death Row and pre-Eminem discovery. Brees played nearly flawless this year and has vastly helped on the development of former basketball star Antonio Gates turning him into the league's most dominant TE. Defensive coordinator Wade Phillips has taken a young and unheralded defense and turned the unit into big overachievers. The Chargers should get by the Jets before stumbling against a tough Steelers team.
Denver Broncos - Unconditional Love Mike Shanahan's love affair with QB Jake Plummer is well documented. Shanahan loves all the good things Jake does: Rolling out of the pocket and throwing deep bombs to Lelie & Smith, the fourth quarter comebacks, Plummer's popularity with teammates. And he tolerates all the bad: inopportune INT's and left-handed pass attempts. Which Jake will show up in Indy? Probably a bit of both and unfortunately even when a bit of bad Jake shows up the Broncos lose. No worries though, Shanahan & Plummer have an unconditional love.
New York Jets - Holla if Ya Here Me
Pump ya fists like this Holla if ya hear me! Coach Herman Edwards established himself as the unwavering symbol of motivation in his first season with the Jets when he delivered his famous "We play to win the game" speech. Ever since, Edwards has given plenty of memorable speeches ( "It's the will, not the skill") but in the end all the motivational talks will still not lead a good Jets team past their Cali opponent. NFC:
Philadelphia Eagles - Dear Mama
Cause when I was low you was there for me The Eagles were ready to host their fourth consecutive NFC conference game when things took a drastic turn and their star WR and league mouthpiece Terrell Owens tore ligaments in his ankle. There's an outside chance that Owens can return for the Super Bowl but talking about Owens' return this year is as useful as planning to see a Ben Affleck movie in it's third week of theatrical release. While there's a chance the Eagles may once again make the NFC title game, there's a greater chance of heartbreak waiting for them once again. As usual the defense is solid but the offense is built too one-dimensionally around a player that's no longer there and there's no way that Pinkston and Mitchell can pick up T.O.' s slack. Sadly, the only one that has faith in the Eagles' Super Bowl title chances is Donovan McNabb's mom.
Atlanta Falcons - Changes
That's just the way it is In other years the Atlanta Falcons would be just another middle of the road team in the NFC but this year they're my odds on favourite to be the losing team in the Super Bowl. There'll never be an easier road for the Falcons to travel to the big game. The NFC is their Autobahn: fans can strap themselves in and enjoy the Mike Vick experience. Guided by Vick the Falcons' offense also boasts a strong and diverse ground game with Dunn and Duckett and TE Alge Crumpler has developed into Vick's main man. The Falcons defense has vastly improved over last year mainly because of reverting back to a QB pressuring 4-3 defence which is good enough to shut down anyone in the conference.
Green Bay Packers - Until the End of Time
So take, these broken wings
The Packers are once again the sentimental favourites to win it all one more time for their incomparable leader Brett Favre. On the field Favre has had another strong season in the twilight of his glorious career. Off the field, Favre has struggled with the loss of his brother in-law and his wife's diagnosis with cancer not to mention his father's passing just last year. The Packers' offense is certainly good enough to stand up against any other with a strong group of receivers (Walker, Driver and the injured Ferguson) and a solid group of RBs led by Ahman Green. The defense while improved over the end of the season is a glaring weakness. The secondary is young and prone to giving up big plays. If the defense plays over their head the Pack may return to glory.
Seattle Seahawks - Only God Can Judge Me
Look to my future cause my past, is all behind me The Seahawks were well on their way of fulfilling pre-season prediction of a Super Bowl berth before they blew a 17 point fourth quarter lead against divisional rivals St. Louis. After that loss the Seahawks' season became as unpredictable as a Dave Chappelle skit. Then, just last week when we think we've seen it all, Shawn Alexander accused coach Holmgren of stabbing him in the back by costing him the rushing title with a QB-draw play in the redzone. Despite a receiving corp that leads the league in dropped passes and an already suspect D ravaged by injuries the 'Hawks are due for a win against those dreaded Rams.
St. Louis Rams - Wonder Why they Call U
In tha locker room How does Mike Martz keep his job? Seriously, how poor of a job does Martz need to do with all his offensive talent before he gets dismissed? He refuses to run the ball yet, he wins virtually every game in which either Steven Jackson or Marshall Faulk rush for 100 yards. The Rams ranked dead last in turnover efficiency in the regular season largely because of Martz's insistence to force the pass. A 1st round loss may be a blessing in disguise for Rams fans who deserve a new coach.
Minnesota Vikings - Check Out Time Each year the Vikings follow the same sorry script. They start out like a house on fire, building a big lead over divisional foes Green Bay. Then they proceed to tank the rest of the year and in the process give the Pack the keys to the divisional title. The Vikings played the Pack close this year losing both games 34-31. The Vikings haven't shown anything over the last few weeks that will change the end result of the match-up. Since there's nothing else to say, I've got to ask: what's with the pencil behind Mike Tice's ear? Is he filling out Scantron sheets on the sidelines or simply trying to look like a shop teacher? Honourable Mention:
Buffalo Bills + Carolina Panthers - I Ain't Mad at Cha It's tough not to appreciate the efforts of the Panthers and Bills who crawled back from 1-7 and 0-4 starts respectively and narrowly missed out on playoff berths. Predictions:
AFC Conference Game: Steelers over Patriots
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