What would happen if Peyton Manning got laryngitis? How would he cope without his audibles?

Things I'd like to see happen in 2005: 

· An interesting story or attention-grabbing event from the world of sports to happen sometime between the end of the Super Bowl and the start of NCAA March Madness, the official "dead zone" of sports all the more so this year without the NHL.

· For Peyton Manning to come down with a case of laryngitis just to see if he'd still be able to play. With all the audibles Manning painstakingly calls at the line on almost every single play (which was annoyingly captured perfectly in Madden 2005) a permanent loss of his vocal cords would have to be considered a career ending injury.

· Peja Stojakovic to admit that he was an executive producer on the finale of The Apprentice. How else do you explain why the show made Chris Webber look so bad? Bailing on the NBA's biggest charity at the last minute? How heartless are you trying to make the guy look? In actual fact as told to the Sacramento Bee newspaper Chris Webber was approached by The Apprentice to play a role in the finale but politely turned down the offer. The producers of the show decided to trudge forward anyways and milked the postponement of CWebb until the very last minute. Nice work Peja!

· More poetic justice to be carried out in the New Year, such as what happened to Terrell Owens. T.O. literally got screwed in Baltimore after he went down with a torn ankle ligament injury and needed screws inserted in his ankle to stabilize it. This is of course after an offseason where Owens, while still a 49er rebuffed a trade to the Ravens after it already went down.

· Jim Ross, yes the same good 'ol JR from the WWE to do some moonlight work as a Texas Hold'Em announcer. Oh my god! No! No! This can't be happening. The King just came up on the river to give him a Full House. I tell you what; we've got a real slobberknocker going here. What does this mean for Daniel Negreanu?

· Less sports media jobs given to women for the wrong reasons. Perfect example from MNF: Michelle Tafoya = deserving, Lisa Guerrero = undeserving. All I'm saying is do not give a woman a job simply because she's a woman. Give her the job because she's more qualified. And yes, this is the exact rejection I got for a freelance gig with a newspaper. Next time I'll submit under my pen name - Patricia.

· ESPN Sunday Night Football to start using Juvenile's song Slow Motion for all plays that are under review.

· ESPN's Paul McGuire to stop telling me to "watch this". Now I want you to watch this. Watch how he hits him. If I'm already watching the telecast I can pretty much see everything myself thanks.

· More fearless predictions to come through: Johan Santana's Cy Young win, Carolina Panthers' to finish sub .500. Less bad predictions: Seahawks-Broncos Super Bowl, under .500 for NFL picks.

· People to stop pushing snow from the driveway out into the street instead of piling it up on the snow bank. When the plow comes around where do you think all that snow goes? That's right! Right in front of your neighbours driveway.

· Blue Jays new 3B to stop being referred to as Anola, Manitoba's Corey Koskie. Is Anola, MB such an interesting place that it needs to be referenced every time Koskie's mentioned? We get that he's Canadian, enough with the obscure geography lesson.

· Rapper Warren G to endorse an all Nougat candy bar. On their own they both struggle but when combined with other parts (Snoop, Nate Dogg, Chocolate, Peanuts) they thrive.

· Have the ability to write three commentaries a day in the same vein as 2Pac, ensuring that my message will prosper long after I'm gone. Who knows if those R. Kelly references will still be relevant 30 years from now but I'm banking that "I want to p#%@ on you" type jokes will still draw some laughs.

· More overdramatic movie review quotes. Open Water - "The best shark movie since Jaws!" Isn't this simply a more polite way of saying it's much better than Deep Blue Sea? Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow - "If you don't like this film then you don't like movies!" This is pretty much the same as saying that if you don't like the way Jerome Moiso plays then you don't like basketball.

· For FourSport.ca to enjoy another successful year. Happy New Year everyone!