2003 Wish List

By: Patryk Fournier

Things I would like to see in 2003:

- Tiger Woods become comfortable with cameras, specifically when people try taking his picture during his back swing. "Come on!!! Jeez, right in the middle of my back swing! I only drove the ball 325yds on that swing. Come on guys!" Maybe even a new ad promotion with Kodak or Fugi isn't out of the question?

- The Ottawa Senators change the train horn that blasts after every goal - very annoying. Maybe they could switch to a siren, maybe even one of those sirens used by the police and ambulances in Europe. That would be different. Hossa scores!!! Wee-woo,wee-woo,wee-woo,wee-woo!!!!

- The Anaheim Mighty Ducks rethink their team name. Is the name even applicable anymore? Emilio Estevez's career with those movies ended a long time ago much like the Ducks opportunity to retain respect from the rest of the league.

- The corporate naming of stadiums comes to an end. Let me introduce exhibit A: The name of the Nashville Predators Arena, The Gaylord Entertainment Center. Couldn't another sponsor come through in time? Like the Mighty Ducks, maybe the team should be named after a movie. Remember the movie Meet the Parents?Welcome to the NHL on TSN: The Detroit Red Wings are on the road to face the Nashville Fockers live from the Gaylord Entertainment Center.

- Allen Iverson named to the 2004 Olympic Basketball team. Wouldn't it be great seeing Brown and Iverson argue publicly in front of the world when Brown needs to sit Iverson or better yet televise why Iverson doesn't want to practice with the rest of the team?

- Compustat expand their endeavors into other sports. What, is boxing the only sport where stats needed to be accurately tracked?

- The NHL's popularity to grow so much that hockey is featured on US media (TV, print and radio) before any NCAA sports are mentioned.

- Las Vegas is awarded an NFL franchise. How great would that be? The place where betting originates from would now have their own team to handicap. Or if that fails have the Trail Blazers leave Portland for the bright lights of Vegas. Sheed, Stoudamire and Ruben Patterson would be in jail before training camp even started.

- The Lakers manage to secure the 7th or 8th seed for the playoffs and meet the Kings and get worked like a part-time job.

- Jeremy Shockey would get his own nationally broadcasted radio show.

- How EA Sports plans on topping Madden 2003?

- One of the boxing organizations would construct a pound-for-pound best fighter title belt, just so Roy Jones Jr.'s entourage would have one more belt to carry to the ring.

- Have 2Pac finally make a public appearance. Why not the 2003 Pro Bowl in Hawaii? How else can you explain that he puts out a new double CD album each year?

- Someone finds a way to capture the proverbial monkey that seems to linger around sports dressing rooms always looking to jump on someone's back.

- The LPGA allow John Daly to qualify for a women's tour event. It's only fair since a woman qualified for a PGA event.

- Lance Berkman continues to defend his hairstyle. "It's not a mullet. A mullet is business in the front and party in the back"

- Raptors management pitch-in and buy Voshon Lenard a vowel.

- The people that Folgers refers to in their commercials. "The best part of waking up is Folgers in your cup". Who are these people? How bad is your life if the only reason for getting out of bed is for a cup of coffee? Your life must be pretty miserable and bleak if the only motivation for leaving your bed is the guarantee that you still have some Folgers left in your cupboard. I want to see these people step forward.

- Paul Loduca make another amazing catch like his feet first slide into the dugout for a pop up while Chris Berman is calling the action: "He did WHAT?!!!!! Is he okay?!!!!!!

- Have the league officially announce at the All-Star break that Mario Lemieux has won the scoring race.

- Win all my fantasy pools and leagues.

- Have Foursport.ca become an even bigger success in 2003.

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