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You Expect Me To Play In That? By Patryk Fournier Februrary 10, 2003

	The standard mask for a goalie who lacks creativity and job security.

Hockey has always had some questionable equipment choices. Back in the late 70's teams experimented with long hockey pants, most notably the Philadelphia Flyers. The trend didn't last very long, hmm wonder why? It wouldn't surprise me if long hockey pants made a comeback. Just picture Gap and Nike collaborating on a campaign of boot cut, hip hugger, low-rise hockey pants. Throw together some swing dancers and you have a multi-million dollar advertisement. Also gone to the world of extinction are the JOFA hockey helmets popularized by Petr Klima, Wayne Gretzky and Mats Naslund (Mats, not Markus). My favourite quote about Mats Naslund came from Don Cherry when asked what he thought about him: "Mats Naslund? Mats Naslund?! He's two feet tall and he wears a garbage can for a helmet." To be honest those old JOFA helmets did look like garbage can lids.

Goalie helmets have improved over the years to a point where masks are a form of expression and personality for each goalie. There are still a handful of goalies that refuse to change with the times and update their goalie masks, most notably: Dan Cloutier, Chris Osgood and Arturs Irbe. Rather than saying these goalies are rebellious for standing up to change, I would say they are unimaginative. Obviously they have not been able to come up with a creative mask design. At least their masks are better than the one Tommy Soderstrom sported for the Flyers in the early 90's; it looked like a birdcage. One constant for goalies has been the white goalie mask. Most often worn by recently acquired goalies or call-ups, the white goalie mask has been around for years. If you see a goalie wearing a white goalie mask for a long period of time, you're looking at someone who has very low job security. I guarantee you a goalie with a white goalie mask does not buy green bananas.

Has anyone noticed that those nose strips made famous a few years ago have gone by the way side in the NHL? I guess people started realizing that no matter how bad of a player you are, a clearer nose passage will not change things. A new change has been made to the visors that players wear. Now players have the option of using a colour-tinted visor. A few players like Eric Weinrich and Al MaCinnis have adopted the yellow visor. I think teams should monitor the play of slumping players and use yellow tinted visors as a method of positive thinking. Haven't scored in ten games? Here, use this. It will help you see the brighter side of things.

For the most part football has not undergone many equipment changes . The same sort of equipment is used from years past, only with product improvements. The best equipment change has to be the helmets. Can you imagine someone sporting one of those leather helmets nowadays? You think concussions are bad now? Just imagine if Troy Aikman or Steve Young had to play with a Danier helmet for all those years. One piece of equipment that should undergo some evolution is that of the facemask that Punters and Kickers wear. Unlike the other players on the field that have at least a 2-bar cage, the punters and kickers are relegated to wearing the "single bar/ my face is completely exposed" cage. No better reason why these special teams players should have more protection to their faces came in game earlier this season that involved the Washington Redskins Punter Bryan Barker. He was ready to punt when he mishandled the ball and was left scrambling to recover the fumble. In the process of trying to recover the ball he received a knee to the face, which left him looking like a cross between Quasimodo and the Elephant Man.

The NBA has seen some changes to the equipment but most are being used for fashion reasons rather than practical. Allen Iverson has started to popularize the long elbow sleeve, Glenn Robinson has made high socks fashionable for some and Horace Grant despite his efforts has not had anyone follow his oversized goggles look. One piece of equipment that has caught on is the headband. I really don't understand this trend. To me it makes about as much sense as those Mach 3 shaving commercials. I mean if you're in space, is getting the closest possible shave your main concern? I mean really, a little stubble won't kill you.