Tampa Bay Lightning - The Apprentice: Like Donald Trump's reality show the Lightning are immensely popular and their high scoring octane style of hockey is definitely must see TV. The only questions surrounding the team is will this young group need to serve as apprentice for another season while they bolster their playoff acumen or are they ready to ride to the top of the NHL's corporate ladder? My guess is the Lighting will reach the Eastern Conference final boardroom and possibly the Stanley Cup finals before being ousted. Martin St. Louis was terrific in last year's postseason, but will have trouble playing under the radar after capping the season with an Art Ross Trophy.

Boston Bruins - The Bernie Mac Show: "North America, you know I ain't lying. The Bruins have surprised you. You never thought they would do this well or have a rookie goalie emerge like Andrew Raycroft did, or even that the Bruins management would loosen the purse strings and go after players like Gonchar and Nylander at the deadline. Now North America I ask you: What is wrong with people in Boston these days? I mean why aren't the Bruins home games selling better? In my day we would have given anything to pay to see guys like Thornton, Murray and Samsonov. Now you get these kids playing their video games and the parents don't have enough time to take them to the game. You heard it here first from Bernie Mac that the Bruins will make it to the 2nd round and possibly the third round if Thornton can carry the team on his back and if Raycroft shows he's unfazed by the playoff pressure."

Philadelphia Flyers - Fear Factor: The Flyers have a history of using fear as an intimidator dating back to the Broadstreet Bullies and then the Ron Hextall era. The current version of the Flyers' roster as Pierre McGuire would like to say includes some tough hombres, but the majority of intimidation comes from their hostile home environment, which is unforgiving for opponents. The problem with the Philly fans is how quick they can give it back to their own team if they don't like what they see and then the home ice advantage can become a deterrent; case in point the play of Roman Cechmanek after he got in the bad books of the fans. The Flyers have had a lot of key injuries this year (Roenick, Primeau, Desjardins) but appear to be getting everyone healthy at the right time. As always the Flyers playoff fate is tied to their goaltending performance. Burke will get the starting nod and if he struggles Esche is waiting in the wings.

	Pardon the Interruption but the Leafs may do well this year.

Toronto Maple Leafs - Pardon the Interruption (PTI): "Pardon the Interruption, but I'm Mike Wilbon and Tony your boy Pat Quinn is relying on a team of playoff battle tested veterans to capture the Stanley Cup. Did anyone tell him this isn't the NHL alumni game?" "I'm Tony Kornheiser boys and girls and I ask you, what the problem is? Who cares if the Leafs are old. They know what it takes to win, not like your Chicago Cubs, Wilbon." The Leafs will make it to the conference finals if Eddie Belfour continues to backstop their efforts. Outside of Broduer, The Eagle is the biggest impact goalie in the playoffs. Leaf Nation is just hoping they don't hear the playoffs end on familiar sentiment "We'll try to do better next time boys and girls."

Ottawa Senators - Six Feet Under: If Jacques Martin and Patrick Lalime don't lead this team to at least the Eastern Conference finals then six feet under is exactly were you'll find the pair. Expectations are extremely high in the Nation's Capital and playoff success is now the only measure that Sens fans are concerned with. The Sens are a hard team to figure out; they lack the overall consistency they displayed last year yet you can't count them out due to their awesome offensive talents. In the end their goaltending and defensive lapses will likely be their Achilles heel. The reference to HBO's morbid show is a perfect fit when you also consider that Jacques Martin exudes the personality of someone you would expect to find in a mortuary.

	The Devils look ready once again to whack the opposition.

New Jersey Devils - The Sopranos: What other choice is there for a team from New Jersey? The Devils are hoping to recreate the main storyline from season five of the Sopranos and be the Class of 2004. Like the Sopranos revolving cast the Devils have retooled and brought in some new players like Jan Hrdina and Viktor Kozlov as well as given opportunities to young prospects Paul Martin and David Hale who hope good playoff runs will lead to them becoming made men in the Devils organization. The Devils are always a good pick to win the Cup because of one man, Martin Brodeur. Simply put, he's the best goalie in the game and the biggest impact player in the playoffs.

Montreal Canadiens - The O.C.: This is how we do things in the PQ. Okay so it's not exactly Orange County but when you talk about Montreal you're still talking about a melodrama. Like the Fox show, Montreal borrows storylines that include feuding, strained relationships and family issues. Examples range from Jose Theodore's father and uncles getting charged to Mike Ribeiro's infamous altercation with Saku Koivu in practice that led to subsequent boos raining down on the Canadiens captain. Only in Montreal can a city openly embrace a player who has battled cancer and then boo him when he gets in a shoving contest with the most popular player on the team. The Canadiens have rebounded back into playoff contention largely because of the play of Jose Theodore who has once again started to resemble the elite level he was at in the 2001-2002 season. They'll need an elite performance again from Theodore to recreate another upset victory over the Bruins.

New York Islanders - 24: The Islanders will likely be the first team ousted from the playoffs. The goaltending duo of DiPietro and Snow lacks big game experience and playoff wise they're mediocre at best. Yashin has struggled to get on track since coming back from a lacerated forearm. Mike Peca is a playoff warrior but there aren't enough of them on the team. Like the show 24, we need to keep a clock on the screen just to track the Isles brief playoff existence. Don't blink otherwise you'll miss them.

Detroit Red Wings - Survivor All-Stars: What else can you call the Red Wings goaltending battle other than Survivor? The last person standing wins the job. Dominik Hasek has already been shut down for the year with a bad groin, which sounds like the kind of injury an evening with Paris Hilton would cause. Curtis Joseph meanwhile has a bad ankle that has plagued him since the end of last year. It looks like Manny Legace by default is the man that will be counted upon, which isn't necessarily a bad thing. He's very likeable and the entire team plays well in front of him. The Red Wings addressed last season's scoring woes by bringing in Robert Lang and Ray Whitney. Plus you can't discount the extra year of maturity and experience Pavel Datsyuk and Henrik Zetterberg have under their belts. As long as the goaltending is stable this team should hang around long enough to be crowned sole survivor.

	A Stanley Cup win by the Sharks would mean a lot to me.

San Jose Sharks - Las Vegas: This analogy won't make sense unless I fill you in on the backdrop. I was in Vegas last summer with my girlfriend and I decided just for the heck of it to place a bet on the Sharks who were paying an awesome 55:1. I didn't think much about the bet until I saw the Sharks tearing up the league. They enter the playoffs as the no. 2 seed in the West and suddenly I'm stoked about their chances. If the Sharks do in fact win the Cup, I could mail in my ticket to the Paris Las Vegas Sports book, but where would the fun be in that? If the Sharks win the cup, I'm heading back to Vegas, baby! So for the next three months my journalistic integrity will be out the window as I cheer on Patrick Marleau, Jonathon Cheechoo and Evgeny Nabokov.

Vancouver Canucks - CSI: The Canucks' Stanley Cup aspirations for all intents and purposes ended when the NHL suspended Todd Bertuzzi for the remainder of the regular season and playoffs. A dark shadow of police investigations now hangs above the Canucks team, instead of a potential Stanley Cup banner. The league and the media have made a large public example out of Bertuzzi's actions on Steve Moore and the Canucks' players cannot escape the public inquest made on their sport. Without Bertuzzi in the lineup opponents are able to target their sole checking focus on Markus Naslund and as Naslund goes so do the Canucks at this point. The secondary scoring acquired at the deadline helps but rather than providing Vancouver with proven scoring from their second and third lines it simply helps mask the impact felt with Bertuzzi's absence. Unfortunately for the Canucks they'll be left pondering 'what if' this summer.

Colorado Avalanche - Curb Your Enthusiasm: The Avs are an incredibly gifted and talent rich team with all-stars manning every position and yet despite this they still find a way to mess things up in the end. If this isn't the description of Larry David's day-to-day life then I don't know what is. Head coach Tony Granato will most certainly be let go if his Avs face another early post-season dismissal like they suffered last year against the Minnesota Wild. Opening the playoffs with a series against the Dallas Stars isn't exactly the tough test the Avs were looking for right off the bat. Another early elimination is quite likely.

	The Dallas Stars hope their playoffs aren't a joke.

Dallas Stars - The Jamie Kennedy Experiment: The Dallas Stars must feel like they've been X'd by the popular candid camera style show. Mr. Consistency and Mr. Dallas Star Mike Modano is having without a doubt the worst season of his career. Usually among the top 10% scorers in the league Modano has struggled this year to a paltry total of 43 points. Stars fans must have also felt like the victim of a bad prank when they found out in the offseason that Derian Hatcher and Darryl Sydor wouldn't be returning to the club and only Teppo Numminen coming in as a replacement. What the team loses in defensive depth it makes up for with the stellar play of Marty Turco. Turco should once again be solid in the playoffs but the key to the team's survival rests in getting scoring from the likes of Bill Guerin, Brendan Morrow, and Jason Arnott. The team also needs Mike Modano to have a dominating postseason campaign and acknowledge that his performance in the regular season was a joke.

Calgary Flames - Average Joe: Think of the Stanley Cup as the pretty girl that all the guys are vying for. Now think of the Calgary Flames as the Average Joe. The Flames are a group of blue-collar hard working guys who pattern themselves after head coach and GM Darryl Sutter. Just qualifying for the playoffs is a remarkable achievement considering this is the Flames first appearance in the postseason in 8 years. Alas, the Flames will be ousted early in the playoffs as the pretty girl will choose one of the good-looking model teams like Detroit, New Jersey or Dallas before she considers the Average Joe. A second round appearance is not out of the question when you consider the game stealing ability of Miikka Kiprusoff.

St. Louis Blues - ER: The Blues continue their longest running string of playoff appearances in North American professional sports at 25 straight years. Reaching that feat was an arduous task with all the injuries that the Blues had to overcome including losing their no. 1 defence pairing. First Al MacInnis was lost for the remainder of the year three games into the season with a detached retina, then Calder Trophy winner Barret Jackman was lost for the year with a dislocated shoulder and addition to that star sniper Pavol Demitra missed 14 games with an assortment of injuries. Where's Noah Wiley when you really need him? Counting on Chris Osgood in the playoffs is always an adventure and with really only Chris Pronger as a defensive stopper on the backend the Blues will simply not have enough to survive and will flat line in the first round.

Nashville Predators - The Newlyweds - Nick & Jessica: Like Nick and Jessica the playoffs and the Nashville Predators are newlyweds and in unfamiliar territory. This is the first playoff appearance in the Predators existence. Existence is an interesting term to use because Nashville will likely not have much of one against their opening round opponent, the Detroit Red Wings. Alas, the Nashville fans will still enjoy their first taste of postseason hockey despite if they're still naïve about the whole concept of hockey. Steve Sullivan and Tomas Vokoun will make the series against Detroit respectful and rookie Jordin Tootoo will become a thorn in the side of many Red Wings.

Safe Stanley Cup Prediction: New Jersey vs. Detroit
Bold Prediction: San Jose vs. Toronto